


You Can't Fly These Wings (You Can't Sleep In This Box With Me)

by entangledbanks (summerhurleys)



Series: Bandom Wing!Verse [3]
Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Angst, Bandom!wingverse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, post!split, reader comments determine ending, unsure!Brendon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2014-07-19
Packaged: 2018-02-08 07:48:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1932645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerhurleys/pseuds/entangledbanks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brendon doesn't want to lose Spencer too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written & Posted via mobile. No beta.  
> Title is from Trade Mistakes.  
> 

When it becomes just Spencer and Brendon, Brendon is left unsure about a lot of things. He's left unsure about his future as a musician. He knows he _could_ continue, but would he want to?

It wouldn't be the same in studio, being able to tease Ryan about his too small wings and Jon for his lack of them. He wouldn't be able to await Ryan's voice after his during concerts, because he wouldn't _be there._

It wouldn't be the same being around Spencer, if he were honest, because if he wasn't careful, he could lose him too. Then he'd be truly alone, as he had been years before.

The other thing he's left unsure about after Ryan and Jon leave, is his lovelife. What if Spencer thought he'd driven them away and didn't want to be around him anymore?

That thought left him some nights crippled in the corner of the bathroom when Spencer was out, wings wrapped around him as he shook with tears.

Brendon didn't know what he'd do without Spencer ; without his knowing words, the soothing touch of his gray wingtip on the back of his neck when they stood beside each other, without his presence to ground him. He'd gotten so used to him just being there, he'd probably self-destruct if he was left on his own.

Of course, throughout the months following the split, he kept a straight face about his worries. He didn't even tell Patrick, who he'd usually tell these kind of things to. Brendon kept it all bottled up within himself.

 

(to be continued)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We figure out how it all ends.  
> Thanks to idkupick for the idea!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to idkupick for the idea of how it was all going to end! This was actually a lot of fun writing, it came out so easily.  
> Hope you enjoy!

The cycle that ran through Brendon's mind went on for months, and to say the least, it wasn't great on his health. He had even started molting _early_. This definitely wasn't good. Brendon hid the feathers from Spencer in the mornings before he woke up, just so he wouldn't get worried over something Brendon had done.

But Brendon certainly didn't say a word to anyone still. He would just wait until Spencer went out to walk the dogs or pick up groceries, and then he'd go into the bathroom and let out his bottled feelings, crying into the cocoon he had made around himself with his wings.

That's how Spencer accidentally finds him one evening after he's walked the dogs. He sees him tightly folded into the corner in the bathroom between the wall and the tub, crying and shaking hard enough that a feather or two had fallen off. Spencer, feeling a protective spirit come about him, runs over to Brendon and kneels in front of him, careful to avoid his wings least he lash out. "Brendon? Brendon, what's wrong?" Spencer asks, tapping a hand on Brendon's exposed foot, making him startle.

"S-Spence! I-I...This is not what it looks like, I swear!" Brendon squeaks, trying to move Spencer back with the force of one of his wings. _He wants to sink into the earth and never be seen again. He's ruined everything!_

"It looks like something, Brendon. Tell me what's going on, I promise I won't do anything you don't want. "

Brendon's body is still shaking, and he feels so weak like this, with Spencer there, so it takes him time to form the sentence he wants. "W-What'll happen if you leave, Spencer? I...I don't know if I'll make it...alone." Brendon deflates right then and there, leaning back against the tiled wall with a shuddering sigh, wings unfurling out. "I just feel like I fucked everything up with the band and you're going to leave too. I love you too much; I'll probably break if you leave. "

"That's why you've been so odd recently? You could have told me, B. I'll love you, no matter what happens to anything else out there." Spencer says, patting Brendon's knee as he extends a shimmering gray wing towards one of Brendon's own. "We're going to do this together, Brendon, you and me. It's always been us against the world."

Brendon looks up with a tearstained face, and passes a small smile at Spencer as he extends his own wing to brush tips with Spencer's. "I'm ...glad." e murmurs, scooting closer to the younger man.

Spencer greets Brendon with a squeezing hug and a kiss to his cheek, which makes Brendon's wings flutter nervously against his. "I love you so much, Brendon Boyd Urie, you're never gonna get rid of me."

Brendon laughs and presses his own kiss to Spencer's nose. "Wouldn't dream of it now, Spencer Smith. "

 

_end._

**Author's Note:**

> This was pretty fun to write, tbh. Let me know what you want to see in this verse.


End file.
